February 19, 1941
How could Mrs. Dubose be so rude to my father? I didn’t mind if she had said anything mean to me and Scout, but she could not be rude to Atticus. Although she had said those kinds of things many times, I acted like as if I didn’t hear them. Yet, this time my patience was at its limit. I was angry and I could feel my blooding boiling inside my body. My madness had taken the control of my mind. I was so mad that I cut the tops off every camellia bush that she owned. I finally calmed when I was finished cutting. That made me feel satisfied, and my revenge was done. Scout was watching me the whole time. I was afraid she would tell Atticus or Mrs. Dubose, so I yanked her hair and threatened her not to tell on me.
If Mrs. Dubose was around my age, I would have beaten her with my own fists so badly that she would have two black eyes. I even imagined the moment she was running home and crying. I couldn’t do anything because she was a senior and that made me feel that I was useless. I didn’t understand that why children have to respect elders and listen to them. Like Mrs. Dubos, a person could not take her madness. Yet, as being a descendent of the Finch, I had to respect elders as well as other people and I had to be polite with others. This time, I didn’t regret. I could not let anyone ruin Atticus’s reputation and his image.
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