TKAM-Jem's Journal

November 17, 1940

            It was winter and the weather became colder than usual. It was snowing outside. Scout and I were so excited and surprised. We went to Ms. Maudie’s to make a snowman. Since it was the first time that Maycomb had snow, making a snowman was quite a difficult work for us. Although it was cold, my body was filled with hot blood circulating through out. Yet, it stopped snowing in the afternoon.

            There was fire at Ms. Maudie’s house at one in the morning. The whole neighbourhood was wakened by the fire and people’s scream. Although we were worried of Ms. Maudie, we were not able to help at all. It was freezing out there. I began to feel my legs are becoming two Popsicle sticks. When I looked at Scout, there was a blanket was wrapped around Scout’s shoulder. Then many images appeared in my head and also included the person who gave us gifts in the tree hole. I went crazy and scared all in a sudden and told Atticus what happened that night. There was an exclamation mark shown on Atticus’s face, but he was not angry. As soon as I knew who put the blanket around Scout, I felt like my legs had no more energy and I was about to fall onto the ground. Yet, it was too cold to sit on the ground, so I kept standing.

            I had never known that Boo was a very gentle and caring person, since he only appeared as a monster in our imaginations. Although that was Boo’s real personality, I still didn’t believe it and it was hard for me to accept this truth.

TKAM-Jem's Journal

September 09, 1940

            These days I was silent and afraid of telling what happened that night. That night I went back to the fence to retrieve my pants; I was astonished when I saw my pants were folded across the fence and they were sewed up although the lines were all crooked. The most amazing thing was that Scout and I found two white miniatures in the hole of the tree, where the box of gum was found. Those two miniatures were crafted very carefully and they just looked like Scout and I! We were even surprised when we found a package of chewing gum at the same place two weeks later. We had suspected our neighbors, but no one was a match. I was wondering whoever gave those things to us had to be very gentle and caring. Although I didn’t know why that person gave these precious gifts to us, I was very thankful to that person. Therefore, we decided to put a thank you letter in the hole the next day. To our astonishment, the hole was filled with hard cement and that put an end on our relationship and the communication with that person. I was too upset, and I couldn’t control my tears from falling. It felt like the time when I lost mom and I would never see her again.
           Although that person gave us gifts, watching other people or following them was very frightening because one would never know whether that person was psychic or not. I was very suspicious of people who were walking behind us, and I often looked around to see if anyone was watching us.

TKAM-Jem's Journal

August 31, 1940

             It was Dill’s last night in Maycomb, so Scout and I went to his place. Dill came up with the idea of peeping in the window to get a look at Boo Radley. We quickly went to the Radley Place. Scout and I made a saddle and Dill sat on it, but he couldn’t see anything so we tried to peep from the back window. While I was crawling to the window, there was a dark shadow. I was so scared that I galloped towards Scout and Dill like a leopard and escaped through the fence by the school yard. I was very unfortunate that my pants were stuck in the fence. No matter how I struggled, my pants did not come loose until Scout helped me. My heart was still pounding even when we safely arrived home without notice. Yet, everyone noticed I was not wearing any pants, and Atticus started questioning and suspecting, but I was saved by Dill’s splendid excuses. When Atticus went to sleep, I snuggled out of bed and went back to the fence in the dark to retrieve my pants with the help of Scout for watching out for Atticus.

            I couldn’t let Atticus find out that we had once again bothered Boo Radley, and I didn’t want to see his furious face. I still remembered the feeling when my pants were stuck in the fence, and I was beyond the line of death. When I saw Mr. Radley with his rifle, I thought I would be the dead Negro if I hadn’t escape in time. Snuggling back to the fence was not easy; I had to look around every step I took, and I felt like I was a thief. Sweats came off my face and my nerves were tight again with heavy suspicions of any followers behind me. At that moment, I deeply understood how the thieves were like when they were stealing.

TKAM-Jem's Journal

August 06, 1940

             Dill and I had been planning a plan to give Boo a note for a few days. Because of Scout was being girly these days, we decided not to let her join our mission. Yet, Scout came finally and asked what we were doing these days. We thought three people would work better than two people, so we let her join in and we made sure that she would shut her big mouth from telling Atticus.

            Our mission began. Dill and Scout were going to ring the bell if there was anyone coming near to the Radley Place, and I was going to give the note to Boo by using a fishing pole. We were still afraid of going near the Radley Place; we decided to do it near their lot. It was difficult to put the note through the window, especially by using a fishing pole. My hands were sweaty already, and they became sweatier when Dill was ringing the bell. My nerves became tight, and my heart was beating faster and faster and I was breathing with difficulty. Then I became clumsier eventually when I knew there was not much time left. Atticus’s face was crimson red when he saw what I was doing, and I knew there would not be good news for me. I had never seen Atticus like this before, but I was angry too because I just wanted to invite Boo to come out and play with us and I had done no harm to him or the Radleys.

            If Atticus understood what I was thinking, I guessed that he would not scold me nor be mad at me. Yet, Atticus really made me angry today, and I would not forgive him in a short amount of time. I didn’t think I have done anything wrong.

TKAM-Jem's Journal

July 03, 1940

            School finally ended, and summer came. Once summer came, Dill also came to play with us for the whole summer time. Scout found some gum in the hole of the tree at the edge of the Radley lot. We were so surprised, but it was strange at the same time. Since we didn’t want the box of gum land on other people’s hand, we decided that we would keep it until school starts.

            After two days, Dill arrived. Scout was laughing at me for believing in Hot Steam. I was so angry at her, but I didn’t know how to fight back. We decided to play rolling in the tire, and it was the time for my revenge on Scout. I pushed her as hard as I could down the sidewalk, but the tire bumped and stopped at the Radley Place. I was worried that Scout could be eaten by Boo at any moment, but I didn’t have the guts to help her to get out. I screamed as loud as I could , and Scout came back safely. Then we were playing Boo’s big scene until Atticus came back. Atticus didn’t like us to bother Boo, but such mysterious man could not stop our curiosity and imaginations. By observing Atticus’s face, I bet he was suspecting us, but I think he didn’t have the proof so he couldn’t accuse us. He went away with the scissors. Our play was eventually stopped.               

            Role-playing the Radley family was fun; Dill was so talented that he role-played his character really well. If Atticus didn’t come home so early, we would be playing still and having so much fun. I bet Atticus was not a curiosity when he was a boy. Since he was homeschooled, he was different from children nowadays.

TKAM-Jem's Journal

September 07, 1939

            I was glad Dill left in early September so he wouldn’t have the chance to make me do dares anymore. In the morning, Scout and I walked to school together. My teacher started talking about a new teacher who came in September to teach the first graders. My teacher also said that she had learned a new teaching method and commented on her appearance. At break, Scout told me what happened in her class. I thought it was funny that Ms. Caroline, Scout’s teacher, was too amazed that Scout could read and write without teaching her. Maybe she was jealous of Atticus’s teaching method since her new method of teaching did not seem to be working out so well. Yet, it was ridiculous when she told Scout not to let Atticus teach her anymore because every parent would want to teach their kids with the best they can. Scout liked Atticus reading her newspapers and was afraid that those happy times would be gone forever. I tried to comfort Scout and told that Ms. Caroline had a new teaching method; therefore she would teach differently. I peeped into Scout’s classroom to have a quick glance at Scout’s teacher. She was beautiful and innocent like an angel and wore red and white stripped dress with high-heel and crimson fingernail polish. At that moment, I thought I was in heaven looking at this glorious and elegant angel. I didn’t pay much attention in class and I was lucky that my teacher didn’t pick on me. I was daydreaming of Ms. Caroline and her beauty. I guessed that was difference between someone who was from the city and someone who was from a town, but I knew that Scout would not like her much. I think she should know more about the people in Maycomb, so people would like her more.

TKAM-Jem's Journal

August 13, 1939

            I met Dill today; he is such a curious little guy and also boastful that he has the ability to read, which seems like no one could read except him. He is from Merdian, Mississippi, and his real name is Charles Baker Harris. Every summer he will come and visit his aunt until school starts. His family seems to be rich since he wore fine linen clothes, but his relationship with his father seems to be loose. Scout was curious about his life and his family, so she kept on asking questions about his father, but I stopped her in time since the expression on Dill’s face told that his tears were going to fall at any moment. Then we talked about the Radley’s place and their rumors, which really frightened Dill.

One day, Dill suddenly came up with an idea to dare me to touch the Radley’s house. Every kid in town knew that they would be eaten or be haunted by Boo if anyone bothered him. I was afraid to do such dangerous dare, so I came up with reasons and excuses. Yet, Dill inflamed my anger and said I was a coward. At night, I had been rolling on my bed and thinking of that dare.  A man’s honor was greater than anything else, I thought, and I accepted to do that dare. When I walked near to the corner of the lot, I was very regretful. My hands were sweaty; my heart was pumping so loud and hard that I would feel it was going to explode. I took a deep breath then closed my eyes and sped to the side of the house and touched it! I turned back and ran away from that scary house. Now that I think of it, it wasn’t as frightening as I thought; at least Boo didn’t haunt me down. For the rest of the summer, Scout, Dill, and I spent time together and played.